El Camino College Union

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Society does not define when women should have children

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There is so much societal pressure on women to hurry up and have children before they get too old as their “biological clock” starts ticking.

I’m 26 years old and married with no children. I am not trying to have them anytime soon.

Growing up, most women in my family had babies in their late teens or early 20s. So, the fact that I don’t have any kids right now seems to be the topic of conversation whenever I’m around family and relatives.

Questions like, “When are you guys going to have a baby?” or, “Wow you’re not pregnant yet?” seems to be constant points of interest for my family.

To be honest I never wanted to have children at a young age.

I’ve seen all the women in my family struggle with having children young; some are single parents, some married, but nonetheless, they are still struggling significantly.

All I hear from aunts and cousins is, “Don’t wait too late.”

What is too late? And by whose standards?

I want to have children when I feel that I am ready and my husband and I have laid a solid foundation to raise our children.

The studio apartment where I currently reside is not the ideal space I see fit for a kid.

I feel silly even explaining the reasons I don’t think it makes sense to bring a child in an environment that isn’t completely stable.

People don’t even consider that fact that some women have a hard time conceiving or can’t have children. Many women have a hard time getting pregnant.

It’s hard for me because I have a health condition and am currently overweight.

After many doctor visits to find out why I kept having irregular cycles and pelvic pain, the doctor recommended that I have an ultrasound of my ovaries.

My lab results came back and it said I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

I had never heard of that before but I was relieved that I finally got some sort of answer after so long. That relief was short-lived once I found out the details of the condition.

The Mayo Clinic states that PCOS is a hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age.

To name a few symptoms, the condition may cause women to have irregular periods, elevated testosterone levels, weight gain, hair loss, cysts on the ovaries and infertility.

Unfortunately, there’s no cure for PCOS despite it being common among women.

According to my doctor and womenshealth.gov, it is recommended that birth control is the primary way to control the symptoms, aside from diet and exercise, so women with this condition have to work twice as hard to conceive if they want to.

It doesn’t help that the “treatment” is contradictory to conception, but I do worry about it once I do decide to have a child.

Though I am not ready to have children, I can’t remember a single time when the prying people in my life haven’t asked about my health.

People just assume women can just pop babies out. Well, I can’t and it’s not that easy. So it would be nice if my family would stop trying to pressure me into having a child without all the facts. It’s offensive and immensely inconsiderate.

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Society does not define when women should have children