“I’m so fed up with my thoughts of you, and your memory. And how every song reminds me of how we used to be. That’s the reason I’m so sick of love songs, so sad and slow, so why can’t I turn off the radio?”
Breaking up is hard to do. Maybe because when it gets started the feeling is so strong and all encompassing, we just fall into the rabbit hole of wonder. A healthy relationship has the potential to be a unity of mutual compassionate beings, but when it is unhealthy, it really is just that; unhealthy.
Classes, clubs, and just walking around school are some random ways in which cupid works on campus here at EC. Having a common interest like pursuing an education is one of the first steps to a healthy relationship.
“It is natural for students to meet in college or the place of business,” Rosemary Swade, instructor of Communication Studies, said. “This means that they have common interest and goals.”
Some of these couples like to take classes together, and Kayla Vidal, 20, Broadcast Communication major, believes it is all about the relationship itself to determine if students should take classes together.
“If the relationship is healthy then having your significant other in class could be positive reinforcement,” Vidal said. “If the relationship is an immature one, rooted by lust, then obviously the students will be distracted.”
The inevitable question to ask is what to do about the end of the relationship. You are no longer seeing each other but you have no choice but to continue attending your class.
“It would be an awkward situation but it is something that has to be dealt with,” David Westfall, 22, Art History and photography major said. “I would prepare myself and not allow a relationship to affect my grade.”
One thing to remember, according to Swade, is that at the end of the relationship be kind, considerate, and clear.
“To avoid sending mixed signals to one another, end the relationship in one fail swoop,” Swade said. “Give yourself a clean break to heal.”
When couples are sexual intimate, there is a reason why a woman, after the relationship is over, feels that it is literally the end of their world. There is a chemical called oxytocin which is excreted in a women’s brain during intercourse. Oxytocin makes the women chemically addicted to the significant other.
“After a long term relationship is terminated, you cannot see, smell, or hear their voice until you become free of the addiction,” Swade said.
The time it takes for one to mend broken hearts is different for each person and each relationship. Students all handle break ups differently, and the nature of the relationship itself could alter a person’s behavior.
“I would make an effort to be as amicable as possible,” Vidal said. “It is my personal choice, in general, not to take a class together in a new, fresh relationship.”
In a new relationship, delaying instant gratification is one tip to a healthy relationship. Holding out for real intimacy and real love is far more precious, Swade said.
“Emotions and hormones are not a call to action,” Swade said.
