Just the other day, I was sitting on my bed when I overheard my sister-in-law speaking to my mom about her 14 year old niece who just had her first baby.
I had only seen her niece once or twice, she’s really pretty, tall and thin. I remember my sister-in-law said her niece wanted to be a model, but that changed after she had her baby. I knew she was pregnant but I still couldn’t believe it, it was hard to picture her at the hospital holding her baby.
Caught up in the conversation, my mom began talking about when my aunt had her first baby at 13. She was only 12 when she left my grandma’s house to live with her boyfriend and soon got pregnant.
That relationship didn’t last long maybe it was because they were too young. She has always been the type of woman who enjoys her freedom, and not being told what to do.
After listening to these stories, I got lost in my own thoughts, imagining what I would do if I had my own children, which wasn’t hard because I’ve been surrounded by children all my life. Even though I’m seven years older than my aunt was when she had her first baby, I still see myself as being too young to be pregnant.
If that were to happen, I think I would be a horrible mother. I think that if I got pregnant now I would only see it as a mistake and the last thing I want is to take my anger out on my own child, like I’ve seen many other people do. Don’t get me wrong, I love children, but from a distance.
The crying, screaming, the waking up during the night and the dedication that one needs to put into being a mother is something that I can’t handle right now.
Often time’s young couples don’t think of the consequences of having an intimate relationship at such a young age. They say it’s their body and their lives. But when things get tough or we make mistakes, it’s our parents who end up dealing with our responsibilities.
My aunt, for example, the one I previously mentioned, left her baby under the care of her grandmother because she was too young to raise her own child and she didn’t want to try either. Her child lived in my grandmother’s house and she raised him as if he was her’s until she passed away not too long ago.
I remember her as a strong woman, strict, but loving and that’s why her grandchildren loved her.
After she passed away, my aunt, who is now 28, took her child to live with her and her new husband for the first time. But her first child was used to my grandmother and didn’t want to move in. My aunt also never finished school, I’m not sure why, but it’s something common among young mothers.
According to the website DoSomething.org, the U.S. has one of the highest rates in teen pregnancies and one in three women get pregnant at least one time before they turn 20. Teenagers who become parents at a young age are more likely to not finish college or high school. However, having kids at a young age doesn’t only affect the parents, it also affects the child.
According to the same website, males born to teenagers are more likely to go to prison, while females born to teenagers are likely to end up pregnant. Perhaps being a mother at a young age doesn’t always have to be a tragedy, but every woman should take the time to think about that and make a choice.
While I keep thinking about my future and what I want to do with my life, the only thing that is clear to me is that I don’t want to be a mother yet. I don’t want to be that young woman who gets pregnant and cries when she finds out.
