Every year at the Los Angeles County Fair, the smell of deep fried foods, kettle corn and the sounds of screaming children on roller coasters fill the air. I forgot to mention the high prices and vendors with dollar signs in their eyes.
It is tough to decide if the high calories and expensive prices are worth the all-day adventure. I recently went, spent more than $150, ate more than I should have and woke up the next morning with a stomach ache.
Let me not forget to mention, my clothes and hair smelled like fair. There were smoke pits cooking enormous hunks of beef with an aroma that stuck to me like glue.
Were deep fried Oreo’s worth the stomach ache? I would have to say yes because it had warm crispy dough covering a soft chocolate cookie with melt-in-your-mouth cream in the middle. That is only the start.
The most unusual snack was chocolate covered bacon. While expecting something warm and fresh off the griddle, I was surprised with a refrigerated Chinese takeout carton. It was crunchy and chocolaty but not worth $6.
After being dehydrated from the mass of chocolate, I had the option of a $16 margarita or a $3 bottle of water. I chose neither and stood under a water mister, which I soaked in every drop hoping it would quench my thirst.
While absorbing liquid, I was multitasking and inhaling the smell of farm animals. No less than 10 steps away, a camel was staring at me dead on, or so I thought. I turned around to see two animal handlers carrying a giant bucket of feed.
The reeking camel was not the worst. I accidentally walked into a cow milking demonstration, which made me grateful for not being a cow. It was interesting to see, but torture to watch. The cow had no option but to be displayed in front of more than 50 rambunctious viewers.
After almost swearing off milk, I do not want to eat pork products any longer. I watched pig races that had various types ranging from adorable piglets to hairless. The trainer worshipped his pigs but handed out free bacon coupons at the end.
An ewe was birthing a lamb with a horde of onlookers. Women were “aww-ing,” men were carrying children on their shoulders and I was straining my calves on tiptoes trying to catch a glimpse.
The fairgrounds cover 305 acres, not including the massive parking lot. Minus food stands, vendors and shopping buildings, I walked all of it. I deserved a gondola ride after constantly sweating.
While taking a relaxing ride, it was still obvious there was an unabated buzz in the air. Everyone below me looked like busy ants carrying food, prizes, drinks or souvenirs trying to get somewhere.
The destination for everyone was either more food, rides or demonstrations. I went to more than 10 different food stands, five demonstrations and every section the park offered. I still was not satisfied.
I did not walk out of the fairground gates until 11 p.m., although it was supposed to close at 10 p.m. The spent money and deep fried belly I developed were worth every single second.