If anyone wants a belly-jiggling laugh or wants to entertain friends at a party, they should definitely open the Bible and read Leviticus.

These are the chapters of the Bible where God’s laws are mapped out explaining how one lives a holy life.

Among these rules are laws of utter ridiculousness. For instance, when a woman menstruates, she defiles anything or anyone she touches; anyone who touches her is defiled for a whole day.

At the end of her period, she must sacrifice two turtledoves to beg forgiveness for taking part in the most evil sin that God bestowed upon women, menstruation.

I’m willing to bet two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree that 99 percent of the women out there don’t practice this.

So why isn’t there a huge uproar about women not following the rules bestowed on them? Why are people so adamant about following the rules of God only when they feel like it and when their own issues are justified by it?

An example of this occurred recently when the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that the ban on same-sex marriages was unconstitutional.

Immediately, religious fanatics, and even those who aren’t too religious, started screaming that it’s against God and began quoting the Bible about how homosexuality was evil.

However, the majority of those people yelling most likely do not sacrifice sheep, nor do they take part in a seven-day cleansing ceremony after they ejaculate like they’re supposed to according to the Bible.

People who support the Bible may claim that these laws I’m making fun of are old laws that obviously need to be forgotten. Well if that’s true, the homosexuality law is just as old, so why isn’t that law forgotten?

They are attempting to play God, doling out to the people which laws they believe should be followed and which laws they don’t believe should be followed.

Just remember that the Bible states that our greatest gift is the gift of our choice, whether or not we follow those rules.

The key word is choice, not enforcement on a legal level because you may feel that what is being practiced by others is wrong.

Not only is it inconsistent to enforce one rule and not another, but it is never implied in the Bible that it is another person’s duty to enforce the will of God.

In our law, there is a little thing called separation of church and state. So to imply that gay and lesbian couples should not be allowed to marry based on a religious code would simply be breaking the law.

Many of the people complaining are saying that the court’s decision will be taking away the “sanctity of marriage.” Sanctity meaning: the holiness of life or disposition; saintliness.

So think up another reason why same-sex couples should not be allowed to wed, because the age-old religion excuse just ain’t good enough.