From the moment I turned 20-years-old, I thought I was going to have my life together. I thought I was going to be done with college and have my degree. I also thought that I was going to have my license along with a ton of work experience.

That was just a dream though because let’s face it, my reality is none of those things. Let’s just say everything is still in the process. Which is why I always feel like I have to play catch up with the world.

In these couple of months that I’ve been 20, I realized that I still have a lot of growing to do both mentally and emotionally. The reason I feel I need to play catch up all the time is that I am constantly putting myself down.

Being 20, I have friends and family who are older than me and also younger than me. A lot of them have work experience, they finished college and they’ve have been in relationships.

And here I am barely learning the meaning of life. I am barely experiencing what many my age now did in our teens. I don’t mean the drugs and the partying. I am talking about working and driving. I am taking baby steps forward being independent at 20.

At this age, I already know people who are parents, who are married and who have had a bunch of jobs because college wasn’t for them. I am also making friends with people are at least one or two years older than me.

But I can’t go out with them all the time because I am not old enough of for many bars and clubs. And I’d rather stay home than have a giant “X” marked on my hand that takes days to wash.

Sometimes even going to the movies for a late showing is annoying because the movie theaters are strict on curfews for 20-year-olds.

Now I see what my sister meant when she said she wasn’t turning, 20 it was 19 part two. Although you may have older friends and are slowly experiencing life, nothing really much changes.

You don’t have as much freedom as you thought you would have.

I always get told that I need to start acting my age but at the same time, I still get treated like a kid. There have been many times where I am not taken seriously because I don’t understand, I don’t know what I am saying or simply because I am too young to know.

Being 20 is that awkward age because it’s when many of us start to realize what we want in life.

Just because you are 20 it doesn’t mean anyone has the right to rush you, or make you feel like you need to be at a certain place in life and have it all together.

This is the age of self-discovery, where you make mistakes and learn from them. Because don’t worry 20 is one year closure to 21 and from there it just gets crazier.