It is a cold place.

A vast void you can’t escape. It’s a place full of emotional lonliness. A place of withholding feelings. And worst of all, it’s sexless!

That’s right. You’ve talked with that woman you liked for little too long. You waited until it was too late to make a move. And she just called you up to talk to you about her boy trouble.

You are now lost in the FRIEND ZONE. (Insert echoing “NOOO!”)

But hold on, explorer of love! Perhaps all is not lost! Friendship with a woman is not like driving into a ditch and getting stuck. It can be more like a pitstop on the way to becoming a couple.

That’s right! I’m talking about the completely unmodern idea of being friends first before lovers.

Hey, if you’re looking for a cheap thrill, all it takes is three dollars and wandering down a random Hollywood alleyway. However, if you follow my approach, you’ll have a relationship with more meaning and fewer STDs.

Going on a date can be like going on stage with absolutely no practice. You’re expected to perform a certain way, and yet you don’t know exactly what to do.

“Should I hold her hand? Should I put my arm around her? Should I grab for a boob?” It’s confusing stuff.

Going out as friends takes the pressure off dating. You don’t have to worry about things like the end of the kiss and just concentrate on having fun.

A friendship allows a potential couple to become comfortable with each other; to learn to enjoy each other’s company before moving on to hotter n’ heavier things. You got to fill the time in between makin’ out sessions somehow, and it ain’t going to be with poker.

Okay, so you’re all friendly like with potential girlfriend. Now what?

One usually gets stuck in the dreaded Friend Zone because they don’t make a move to tell that special woman you like her…in that way.

And ironically, it often becomes harder to say anything about a “relationship” the friendlier you become with her.

You begin to fear you’ll lose it all, even the friendship, if you pull out the intimidating three words.

But come on! Give her more credit than that! Do you think she’s going to spit in your face? Scream and run away in fear?

If she would do that, the heck type of women are you trying to date anyway? No, most likely it’ll be surprise and, worse case scenerio, a polite “no, sorry.”

But you won’t know until you find out. All it takes is a simple move. Buy her flowers. Write her a card. Or here’s a novel idea: Tell her you like her! For all you know, she wants you too.

At the very least, letting her know you have feelings for her puts all your cards on the table. You no longer have to pretend to be the friend with no penis. And you can complete that chapter of your life and turn to the page. You can move on.

Don’t forget that old saying: there’s plenty of fish in the sea. So that means you’ll never have to worry about starving as a fisherman, even if you are girlfriendless.

And dude, don’t be a dick. If she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend, don’t stop returning her phone calls and avoiding her. You’re not so shallow that if a woman doesn’t want to date you, you wouldn’t have anything to do with her, right?

You never know; maybe she’ll say no at first, but the idea will be in her head. And the more she thinks about you, the nice, understanding, stand-up guy that you are, maybe she will come around and pick bachelor No. 2.

Oh, another tip: don’t tell her you like her in a public place. That just puts extra pressure on you both.

…Belinda from math class! Notice me! I looove you!