At every family party I attend, people ask me, “Why aren’t you doing nursing? You would do so well!” or “Why don’t you go into the medical field? Do you know how much money they make?”

These questions always leave me wondering if I am choosing the right career path or if I’m disappointing my family for not choosing a medical career.

With a big nose, large calves, dark hair, short stature and tan skin, I embody the physical traits associated with Filipinos. These features not only shape my appearance but also connect me with my heritage.

But I can’t help but ask myself, “Am I even Filipino?”

Being Filipino isn’t just about appearance.

It’s about the values we carry, the expectations we come to and the paths we’re pressured to take. For many, that path leads to the medical field.

“Delicadeza,” a Filipino value, is the importance of reputation and family honor. Another value is “Kagalingan,” which means the pursuit of excellence, pushes many toward careers in medicine, where success reflects both personal achievement and family pride.

Choosing a different path that wasn’t practical to my parents and family – it felt like a betrayal. I feared my decision would negatively affect my family’s reputation.

The Philippines is the world’s leading producer of nurses. According to “Harvard International Review,” since 2022, Filipino nurses comprise 33% of all foreign-born registered nurses in the United States.

In elementary school, becoming a pediatrician was my dream. My doctor was the sweetest person and I wanted to be like her, helping other kids be healthy. Learning about the required education crushed my aspirations.

I liked middle and high school, but I only attended because my parents would scold me if I didn’t and legally, children had to attend.

Sitting in classrooms and listening to lectures was a never-ending torture. Lunch breaks and talking to my friends were what I enjoyed, where we could share endless laughter, our voices growing louder with every joke. School was a place to socialize.

My father was blessed with the gift of artistry. When he’s on the phone, I often watch him doodle the most beautiful pieces of art to pass the time. Would he have been happier pursuing a job in architecture rather than electrical engineering? He’s happy in retirement now, but I wonder what other versions of himself were left as dreams.

Approaching graduation from Torrance High School, my college major remained undecided. I almost gave into the stereotype and enrolled in nursing school, but the decision filled me with dread.

When my sister’s friend landed a social media position at a jewelry company, my interest sparked. She modeled the dainty rings and necklaces, curated posts to advertise their product and she seemed like she genuinely enjoyed her job.

It seemed like the perfect job for me.

I enjoy being able to create my own designs and talking to people. It was the perfect start. Marketing and public relations were majors that aligned with that idea. I finally knew what I wanted to do.

Delicadeza told me to choose a path that would bring my family pride and success. A career in public relations felt right, but was it right in the eyes of my family? Does choosing myself mean letting them down?

The feeling of disappointing my family wouldn’t leave my mind.

I secretly desired something specific. I found the path that aligned with my passions and strengths. I enrolled at El Camino College with the determination to transfer to a four-year university and major in public relations.

Knowing I had a clear plan for my future, I began applying for internships and gaining experience. As a front desk receptionist at Pause Studio, I can meet with different people who are in the place I want to be. It was the perfect opportunity for me to build connections and to get my foot in the door.

My choice satisfied me. I was heading in the right direction.

The question lingers as I continue my academic career.

Some days, I find myself proud that I didn’t succumb to the stereotype. At some point, I stopped caring about what people thought about my career choice.

Despite my growing confidence in my chosen path, a moment with a friend made me question everything once again. While playing pickleball, he found out I wasn’t a nursing major. He’s Filipino and majors in a medical field. “Are you even Filipino?” he asked. That simple question made me reflect on the weight of the cultural expectations.

I laughed at his question and smiled to myself. My choice to go into public relations might not align with the ideas of others, but it aligns with me and the idea of myself. I sat back down before I played pickleball again. The question cycled through my mind, but it felt different somehow.

The question didn’t bother me anymore. I was confident in myself and my future.

The more I looked at him, the more I saw the same big nose, big calves, dark hair and tan skin. I realized we are just about the same. Kagalingan wasn’t just about excelling in medicine, it was about excelling in what I was meant to do. We may have different paths, but I am just as Filipino as he is.

I am Filipino enough.